Thursday is Hurl's Day

I've been on my best behavior.  Believe it or not.  I've been very careful not to rock the boat, ever since the E.S.B.C.* has been hanging around.  (Well, there was one tiny little toe-bitey-on-That-Woman incident, but she didn't seem to mind.)  See, they're trying to kick E.S.B.C. out, but I don't want to get mixed up in any of that bizness.  I'm an evil twin, of course, but I am not nearly that evil. E.S.B.C is ruining the reputations of evil twins everywhere.  It's no good, I tell you.  Wish me luck.
Until next time, Mwahahahahahahahahaha...

*Evil Spawn of Basement Cat

 

Thursday is Hurl's Day

I'm back.  I would say I'm better than ever, but this Feliway stuff that That Woman is diffusing all over my abode seems to be like Kryptonite or something. But, I must carry on.  I will find a way to defeat this Feliway foe.  Stay tuned, minions.


Mwahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

This morning That Woman started getting ready for work. She walked into the bathroom, flipped on the light, and headed over to the shower. She pulled back the shower curtain and then screamed - which reminded her quite a bit of a scene from A Movie That Askeers the Bee-doody Out of Her - because she saw this:

Mwahahahahahahaha...

***Updated: And look what That Woman just found while perusing the interwebs.  Norman Bates and a kitteh!

Mwahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

The full moon this month was wonderful!  I stayed up all night for three nights in a row, leading up to the big night.  There was a fair amount of biteys, bunnykicking, delicious, pink ear chomping, skinny dawg ankle tasting, rassling cage matches on top of That Woman, and THoE. Take notes, kittehs.  Full Moon Fever* is awesome.


Mwahahahahahahahaha...


*Yes, That Woman loves this guy.

Thursday is Hurl's Day

One day last week, That Woman was getting ready to leave.  She was all dressed and ready to go.  She opened the door to let those delicious, pink ears outside and I ran out, my cape flowing behind me.  I ran to the middle of the back yard. Mwahahaha...  She had to follow me - through all the "deposits" that those delicious, pink ears left out there for the last several weeks.  She grabbed me.  I began to flail and ended up wiping my paws all over her shirt. Mwahahahaha...  She carried me inside and then managed to get a whiff of her shirt.  Let's just say that it wasn't mud.  Mwahahaha...  She had to change.  She also tried to clean my feet, but, well, we all know how that worked out for her: Scratch City. I wasn't all that happy to have poo on my feets, but I made sure that those delicious, pink ears were punished.  Why can't he just use a litterbox like everyone else? 


Mwahahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

I have been very, very busy this week.  Even though I have left those delicious, pink ears alone - for now - I have been running out the door almost every day.  It is especially entertaining after dark, when I am nearly impossible to see. I usually just swoop around the patio, but today, I got out to the middle of the back yard.  That Woman was shrieking and carrying on and freaking out.  She just does not understand how great it feels to have the wind blowing your cape around.  Until next time, my friends...

Mwahahahahahaha... 

Thursday is Hurl's Day

 

You want to know what I've been up to this week?  

Mwahahahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

Look at her, sleeping so peacefully. She has no idea what's about to happen.

 

Mwahahahahahahahaha....

 

Thursday is Hurl's Day

 

I've had a pretty busy week.  I've had biteys to give and pink ears to chomp and pink noses to whap. It's really exhausting.  I also tried to steal a loaf of bread from That Dad Guy last night.  We had a tug of war thing going on.  Technically, he won (because he has thumbs), but he says I won because the bread had teeths marks in it and then he refused to eat it. I say, what's a few teeths marks between furriends? Then while he was complaining about it to That Woman, Tazo snuck up behind him and grabbed the bread again.  Maybe she's starting to see things my way.  Could there be another evil twin at the Casa de Furry Kids?

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....

Thursday is Hurl's Day

I've had a busy week.  Mostly I've been focusing on beating up Tazo.  Last night, Dad and That Woman left for a little while.  When they came home, Tazo was acting all askeered and she had grey furs stuck in her clawrs.  Mwahahahahahaha...


In other news, guess what I joined this week?  The Naughty Kitty Club. I think it's going to be very informative.  Just think, access to all that naughtiness.  All.the.time. Stop by and check it out. Mwahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

I've been busy this week.  Mwahahahaha.  I attacked Tazo two nights in a row.  She screamed and That Woman yelled and attempted to squirt me with a water bottle.  And when those delicious, pink ears tried to step in to defend them, I attacked those, too.  I managed to skedaddle and EG ended up in timeout instead.


Mwahahahahahahah....

Thursday is Hurl's Day

This week, I perfected a new chomping technique.  I was being all lovey dovey on That Woman (complete with making biscuits and the Perfectly Parker Patented Love Eyes).  Then I meandered over to that White Dawg and acted all lovey dovey on him.  I lick, lick, licked his head and That Woman got all SQUEE-y.  While she was gushing over teh cute, I chomped on that White Dawg's head. He squealed like a little girl and gave That Woman the most pitiful look ever.  It.was.awesome.


Mwahahahahahahahahaha....

Thursday is Hurl's Day

EG's been very, very helpful this week.  See, I've got him "making biscuits" on That Woman (something he has never done on her ever in the four years that he's lived with her).  He's done it every night for the last five days.  Sometimes, he even uh, um, tries to get milk from various parts of her.  But anyway, he's been "soooo sweet" (her words) this week, that she's totally falling for it.  Once she gets comfortable, then we strike. 

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

My plastic-mesh-string-eating plan was awesome. That Woman freaked out and cried and EG got fawned over by lots of wimmins at the v-e-t's office. The extra attentions and no medicines or special diet were awesome. The whole rectal exam wasn't exactly planned, but, well, sometimes there's collateral damage. (What's that? I wasn't supposed to mention that part? Oh, sorry about that, EG.) Plus, it's been very entertaining to watch That Woman "dig for gold" in the litterbox. She bought a rug to cover the yummy hole in the carpet that contains the yummy plastic meshy string stuff and then she sprayed everything with bad tasting spray and topped it off with habanero pepper sauce. I'm devising a plan to get around that. I'll let you know what I come up with.

In other news, I think That Woman is on to me. She's discovered that my favorite week of every month is the week before the full moon. I stay up all night every night and run around and get Tazo and Titus all crazy and we play THoE for hours. As it turns out, this week it's her busy week at work and her lack of sleep is really doing a number on her. Even though she's figured out my system, she's too tired to do anything. My plan is working perfectly!

I've also tasted some delicious pink ears and delicious dawg ankles this week. That Woman felt so guilty for all the attentions EG got so she was laying on the floor cuddling with Titus. I meandered around them, snoopervising for all they knew, until they weren't paying attention. Then kapowee! I took a big chomp on a delicious pink ear. In the ensuing ruckus, I snagged a taste of delicious dawg ankle, too. It had been so long since I'd had a taste - I'd forgotten just how delicious Titus is. I really need to get back into the whole chomping thing.

Until next time...

Mwahahahahahahahahahaha.....

Thursday is Hurl's Day

Ah, yes, my furriends. It is that special day of the week again. Mwahahahahahaha...
Ahem. Yes, well, as you may or may not know, Casa de Furry Kids is still experiencing some technical difficulties. And I have been called upon to take care of bizness, as it were. The bitey has been applied to the following:

A delicious, pink arm - twice
Delicious, pink ears - I lost count
Tazo - Way too many to count
That Woman - can you say infinity? Mwahahahahahahaha...

What do the first three have to do with the computer problems in the house? Not a thing. I was just doing my evil twin duties. What can I say? I love my job.

Until next time.

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

So last week, That Woman and The Dad-Type-Guy took all of The Furry Kids to the v-e-t for their check ups. It started out by me and Tazo getting shoved in our PTUs and getting thrown into the tan machine. We drove and drove and drove for like a squillion hours and then we gotted to the v-e-t. The whole way there, me and Tazo yelled at The Dad-Type-Guy to take us back home, but he wouldn't. Titus, being his usual goody two shoes self, just sat in the back seat and looked out the window.

Finally, we gotted to the v-e-t. Titus, as usual, gotted a ton of attention. His favorite girl at the v-e-t (next to That Woman, of course) came out of the back room and gave him lots of scritches and fawned all over him. Whatever. He gotted weighed in the waiting room (how horrible that everyone in there sees how much you weigh!) and then we went into the exam room. Me and Tazo gotted weighed - that was horrible, too. The Dr P came in.

She checked out Titus first. Of course, he was doing the whole I'm-adorable-and-I-have-delicious-pink-ears thing. They fall for it every time. Again, whatever. Here's his report card. Please note that it says that he is a "perfect weight" and "sweetheart." Blah, blah, blah. The only good part is that he has to get his teeths cleaned in a couple of weeks (but don't tell him - he doesn't know about it yet). Another funny thing is that when he gotted the one vaccination that is the nose drops one, That Woman tripped and stepped on his foot at the same time the lady shooted the stuff in his nose, so he screamed like a little girl and then he snootered it all over That Woman. heh heh



Tazo REALLY hates the v-e-t so she hung out in the PTU and pretended that no one could see her. Unfortunately, it didn't work. She gotted weighed and then Dr P checked her out. She gotted poked in her belly and Dr P looked at her eye that's been kinda gooby lately mostly because somekitteh played THoE waaaay too enthusiastically and whapped her in the face. She hated every minute of it. As soon as she was done, she wented back in the PTU and stayed there and hoped that everyone would leave her alone. Her report card says that she has to lose some weight (9 whole ounces!) and that she's "beautiful." Again, blah blah blah.


Now, to get down to the best part. First of all, I'm a little hissed off because they only call me "Earl" when I'm there. My name is Earl Grey. Or EG, for short. So please note that they wrote the wrong name on there. Second, Dr P and That Woman had never seen me at the v-e-t's office when I've been healthy. Let's just say that they were waaaayy wrong on the name on the chart. Because Hurl Grey wented to the v-e-t instead. Let's just say that Bendrix would be proud. I believe That Woman referred to me as "feisty." I strutted around the exam room. I refused to look at Dr P when she was trying to look at my eyeballs. I moved my head every time she tried to look in my ears. I swiped at her with my clawrs when she tried to listen to my heart. I may or may not have tried to give her the bitey when she was poking at my belleh. heh heh
Notice my report card says that I am a "personality." Oh yeah. That Woman also mentioned to them that I like to chomp on those delicious pink ears and then The Dad-Type-Guy and That Woman heard everyone whispering in the back about how I beat up on Titus. heh heh


The bad news about the whole thing? Me and Tazo have to cut back on our foods. It is so wrong. Mr Delicious-Pink-Ears is "perfect" and WE have to cut back on the kibble? Very wrong. But all in all, we're healthy, we gotted our shots, and we don't have to go back for a long, long time. It's a good thing, too, because it wore us all out. As soon as we gotted home, we had our supper and we all took a nap (even That Woman). I'm glad it's over, but I think I'm gonna have to consult with Bendrix about how to behave before my next visit.



Mwahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

So while EG was teleporting around on the Hams of the Werld Tour, I helped him out by making sure that That Woman didn't even know he was gone. Last Thursday night, I stayed up all night long. It was awesome. I played jingle ball and squawked until 4 am. That Woman was super tired at work on Friday. heh heh

At least one time a day for the last few days, I have run outside. Especially at dusk when it's super hard to see my grey furs. Again. teh awesome. I have been threatened with a collar, but that ain't gonna happen - it would clash with my awesome cape.

I made sure to taste those delicious, pink ears. Multiple times. It was especially fun when Titus had that hurty neck. It was like I was a giant jungle kitteh and he was a wounded wildebeest.

Finally, I got all jacked up and attacked Tazo. She screamed and screamed like a little girl and then, well, That Woman put me in a timeout. Twice. And then I had to listen to a lecture on how we are supposed to be nice to each other and blah blah blah.

Overall, it's been a super busy week. I'm glad EG's home now so that I can relax.

Mwahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

So it's been a pretty slow week again. Yesterday was pretty fun, though. That Dad Guy reached into the dryer to get a shirt and felt some fur. He screamed like a little girl (apparently because there shouldn't be animals in the dryer, but whatevs). Then he peered in there to see who that fur belonged to and saw me. I turned on my super evil genius cuteness and when he reached in to pet me, I gave him the bitey. Mwahahahahahahaha.

I've also got some things tentatively scheduled for the next day or so. See, That Dad Guy has decided to take up golf and bought these clubs. He keeps bringing them in the house and I gotta say, those club grips look super tasty. That Woman keeps reminding him to put them away because rubber is a delicious snack around here, but he keeps forgetting. There is a delicious looking putter in the living room as we speak. Come to think of it, there's also a pair of delicious pink ears that need my attention. Until next time...

Mwahahahahahahaha....

Thursday is Hurl's Day

Mwahahahahahaha...



I haven't been up to much recently. I hate to say it, but it's just been too hot this week to be evil. I am a little bit ashamed because I never ever thought I'd say that. In fact, with the exception of That Woman (who's been dancing around like a lunatic, singing the praises of warm weather), everyone around here is just laying around on the tile floor. I gotta tell you, when I was picking out my evil twin outfit, I didn't consider how hot a cape could really be. Duhr.

Mwahahahahahahahaha....

Update: I take it back. I have developed a brand new Hot Weather Evil Scheme. When That Woman is walking around the house, I walk around with her. And then just randomly flop down on the ground and stretch waaaaaaay out - right in front of her. The tripping and flailing as she tries to avoid squashing me is AWESOME. Try it, kittehs. It'll change your life.

Mwahahahahahahahaha...

Thursday is Hurl's Day

Mwahahahahahaha...

So here's the deal. I helped EG have the.best.adventure.ever. Last Friday, when That Dad Type Guy camed home, I helped him sneak out the door. (I would've gone myself, but I was afraid that That Dad Type Guy would notice my cape whipping past him. It's quite difficult to be inconspicuous with a cape, let me tell you.) Anyway, That Woman and That Dad Type Guy were preoccupied with their broken cold box thingy, so they didn't notice that EG was missing. That Woman was wondering where EG was when the cold box thingy was pulled out to reveal the marvelous stash of milk jug rings and jingle balls - that's not the kind of thing that he'd miss. But she figured he might've needed a little alone time like he does most evenings and didn't think any more about it. But then That Dad Type Guy lefted to go pick up a pizza and That Woman noticed that EG wasn't hanging around like he usually does and he wasn't having alone time in his alone time spot. So she did a quick check of all of our (mine and EG's) hidey spots. He wasn't in any of them. Here comes the best part. She freaked right out. She was running around the house, looking under all kinds of furniture, opening the door to the Forbidden Room, rattling the treat bag, and dropping treats all over the house. It.was.awesome. Finally, she got really freaked out and started crying and ran outside. She called for EG and ran around the corner of the house and there he was, doing just what I told him to do - acting all calm, cool, and collected.** So That Woman was crying and carrying on and acting all a fool. She carried him in the house and gave him lots of hugs (the horror!) and kisses (more horror!). We all did score some treats, too, but only after we had to listen to another lecture on not running out the door when That Dad Type Guy isn't looking. About how it's better to be inside and fat than outside and flat. About how Outside can be dangerous for kittehs - we could have a run in with those vicious, rabid, golden retrievers again, or get sucked into that Hairy Tazo's street gang. Blah, blah, blah. I was just proud of my boy, EG, for getting to taste freedom for those few minutes. The fresh air, the grass under his feets. I hope he eated some rabbit poo from the yard, too. My boy done good. Til next time, kittehs.

Mwahahahahahaha...


**The Mom's note: EG wasn't all that calm, cool, and collected. He was pretty freaked out. In fact, he ran right over to me and practically jumped into my arms and his little heart was racing. But I didn't tell Hurl Grey that - I gotta protect my Grey Baby's rep, you know.