Thursday Thirteen - Edition 66

Since my latest indiscriminant competitive eating incident last week (which appears as #13 on the list), Mom has been thinking of all the things that I've eaten since I was Gotcha'd 8 years ago. Takeru Kobayashi ain't got nothin' on me. (Please note: Mom doesn't think that this is a complete list - she's almost positive she's blocking out a few more of these horrible memories. hehe)

1. My very first shot at competitive eating (and this one holds a special place in my heart): 6 pounds of prescription dawg food (that didn't belong to our family), a dozen sugar cookies, and part of a wooden broom handle. Twice. In the same day. I won't go into details on how it was twice (for those with weak stomachs), but use your imagination. hehe Mom took me to the v-e-t because my tummy was all poochy and she was worried about bloat. They tried to make me puke, but I refused to give it up again. The v-e-t was amazed. hehe

2. Aluminum foil and corn cobs (2 whole corn cobs, if you're counting)

3. Various animals in the back yard. We won't go into detail. This one makes Mom real sad, but I keep reminding her that I haven't done this since Shadow (the Dawg Who Came Before) wented to the Bridge.

4. A box of chocolate pudding powder

5. All of the mulberries that fell off the tree in the backyard (or were on the branches that I could reach) - I ate as much as I could until I got caught

6. Multiple Clif bars

7. Two pounds of kitteh kibble

8. Kitty box crunchies (This is my go-to whenever I feel like I need a little variety in my diet. It has never failed me. hehe)

9. 20 oz box of raisin bran (In retrospect, this wasn't the greatest idea I've ever had, but it was delicious!)

10. 1/2 a bar of Ivory soap (Not that delicious, but my puke was very interesting - and bubbly)

11-12. 50 salmon oil pills and an entire box of Lucky Charms (on the same day - I even impressed myself with this one)

13. Two 90 count bottles of the supplement that I take every day. After a panicked call to the manufacturer and much freaking out on Mom's part, all I ended up with was some really stinky gas and a day's worth of 'tocks trouble. The lady at the manufacturer told Mom that someone had called in because their dawg had eaten most of a 1000 tablet bottle and was ok (though she said she didn't recommend doing that). Mom felt lots better that I wasn't the only one who does this sort of thing. Plus she was relieved that we didn't have to go to the v-e-t this time. She says she gets really embarrassed when she has to call them because I've eaten something and she's afraid they'll call the Furry Kid Protection Services on her. She's such a worry-wart. I've got it all under control. Sort of. I hope JH (my life coach) doesn't read this.