Thursday, April 30, 2009

Thursday Thirteen - Edition 66

Since my latest indiscriminant competitive eating incident last week (which appears as #13 on the list), Mom has been thinking of all the things that I've eaten since I was Gotcha'd 8 years ago. Takeru Kobayashi ain't got nothin' on me. (Please note: Mom doesn't think that this is a complete list - she's almost positive she's blocking out a few more of these horrible memories. hehe)

1. My very first shot at competitive eating (and this one holds a special place in my heart): 6 pounds of prescription dawg food (that didn't belong to our family), a dozen sugar cookies, and part of a wooden broom handle. Twice. In the same day. I won't go into details on how it was twice (for those with weak stomachs), but use your imagination. hehe Mom took me to the v-e-t because my tummy was all poochy and she was worried about bloat. They tried to make me puke, but I refused to give it up again. The v-e-t was amazed. hehe

2. Aluminum foil and corn cobs (2 whole corn cobs, if you're counting)

3. Various animals in the back yard. We won't go into detail. This one makes Mom real sad, but I keep reminding her that I haven't done this since Shadow (the Dawg Who Came Before) wented to the Bridge.

4. A box of chocolate pudding powder

5. All of the mulberries that fell off the tree in the backyard (or were on the branches that I could reach) - I ate as much as I could until I got caught

6. Multiple Clif bars

7. Two pounds of kitteh kibble

8. Kitty box crunchies (This is my go-to whenever I feel like I need a little variety in my diet. It has never failed me. hehe)

9. 20 oz box of raisin bran (In retrospect, this wasn't the greatest idea I've ever had, but it was delicious!)

10. 1/2 a bar of Ivory soap (Not that delicious, but my puke was very interesting - and bubbly)

11-12. 50 salmon oil pills and an entire box of Lucky Charms (on the same day - I even impressed myself with this one)

13. Two 90 count bottles of the supplement that I take every day. After a panicked call to the manufacturer and much freaking out on Mom's part, all I ended up with was some really stinky gas and a day's worth of 'tocks trouble. The lady at the manufacturer told Mom that someone had called in because their dawg had eaten most of a 1000 tablet bottle and was ok (though she said she didn't recommend doing that). Mom felt lots better that I wasn't the only one who does this sort of thing. Plus she was relieved that we didn't have to go to the v-e-t this time. She says she gets really embarrassed when she has to call them because I've eaten something and she's afraid they'll call the Furry Kid Protection Services on her. She's such a worry-wart. I've got it all under control. Sort of. I hope JH (my life coach) doesn't read this.

19 comments:

  1. WOW. That is simply impressive. I especially like when you do things that give your mom a heart attack. Bonus points!!!

    Chase

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  2. Titus, is it time to call in Jeter again?!?

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  3. Titus, you put Georgie to shame (though her eating the binoculars and the formica samples in the same month was pretty impressive)! Well done!

    Hiya Tazo!
    Ya wanna come over and snuggle today - it's supposed to be cold and rainy (again) so it's purrfect day to snooze!
    Purrs and nosekisses,
    Bert

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  4. We wouldn't want to give you any ideas, Titus, but we did read about a Springer Spaniel in England who had to have surgery after eating 40 pairs of underpants and 300 pairs of socks...
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/staffordshire/7115539.stm

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  5. Titus, we bow to your eating soo-peer-eeee-ority. You are THE DOG!!!

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  6. Holy cats, Titus! That's enough for a lifetime!

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  7. Dude, you're amazing! The bar of soap is kind of funny... bubbles. hehehe.

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  8. Dude, I'm impressed! The only really weird thing I've ever eaten that really panicked my mom was a taste of Fimo polimer clay. She called the animal poison line for that one! Other than that I stick to paper towels, tp and weatherstripping. (Mom has to keep an eye out for that last one. She won't let me really eat it.)

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  9. Wow!

    Woo are khwite good at 'it'!

    Have woo seen the Golden DoofTriever in the UK? Bailey had a total of 17 items of khlothing&such in him!

    At least is BASIKHALLY 'food'!

    Please don't skhare your mom - having those two OTHER KHRITTERS is enough fur her tikhker!

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra

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  10. mom laughed. I do not see how any of this is funny. I love eating, never tried soap or broom handles before though.
    Titus you are a great friend... just try to pace yourself okay?
    Love and purrs

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  11. Uh, Titus old man...I hate to say this, but I think you have a problem. Perhaps we should all chip in for a session with a dog psychiatrist.

    George

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  12. wow, we're impressed Titus ~The Fluffy Tribe

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  13. Wow, and I thought I was bad. You have totally impressed me. I bow to your bad eating superiority.

    Roxy

    Seriously, you can quit now, you won the award.

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  14. Holy Heck, that's something!

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  15. Titus, I bow to you. You are my hero!
    Diamond Doggie

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  16. I'll bet the Ivory wasn't 99-44/100% pure when you were through with it!

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  17. I don't know what to say. The fact you are still walking around, froot batting, is a testament to your steel innards!!

    Purrs Goldie

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  18. too late man ... i red it!
    duhr titus ... dat'z allotta eetin on yer part.
    i wood think u wood be like a squillion powndz now.
    pleez repeet yer mantra ... an slow down.
    thank u.
    luv--jh

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Thanks fur stopping by!