It's been a slow week for me here at the Casa de Furry Kids. I only woke The Mom up every two hours all night long (by a giant bitey or some boobwalking or by chewing on the metal part of the bed) for ONLY three weeknights in a row. I told her it could've been so much worse. There was only one scratch on Titus' nose and not one chomp on a delicious pink ear. I showed restraint, I tell ya. Last night, I put a giant bitey on The Dad instead of The Mom (she's always talking about how I do that in the middle of the night and he gets soooo jealous, so I let him in on the fun). And I licked some of the ranch dressing off The Mom's salad when she wasn't looking, just to make sure that it was ok for her.
Wait a second. What am I doing? Have I run out of bad things to do? Am I going soft? This is disturbing. I need to talk to Bendrix.