What the Paw?! Wednesday on Thursday

This is a picture of me and Dad watching TV the other day.

So, we haven’t been around much lately. It’s not because there’s nothing going on. In fact, it’s been pretty busy around here. Ever since the big INCIDENT a couple of weeks ago, things have been a little bit upsetted at Casa de Furry Kids. I have been a little on edge, Tazo hisses at me all the time, and Titus has been trying to avoid me like the plague. And The Mom, well, she’s still freaked out about the whole chomping thing. As it turns out, we’ve pretty much figured out that while Hurl Grey is my evil twin, he’s not the one doing all the frenzied, freaked out chomping. The Mom thinks that HG just does your everyday bad stuff: toe biteys, THoE in the middle of the night, etc. She thinks that HG may have his very own evil twin: EVIL like the spawn of Basement Cat.

Last week, The Mom called and talked to the v-e-t. Dr. P said that she would maybe consider medication for me, but she thought that maybe we all should talk to a behaviorist first. She gave The Mom a referral and we got an appointment for this week. To get ready for the appointment, Dad and The Mom had to fill out this giant form and draw a diagram of our house and email it back to the clinic, along with a picture of my handsomeness.

On Tuesday, me and Titus and Dad and The Mom went to the clinic. It was in a v-e-t hospital. There are all kinds of specialists there, like heart doctors and bone doctors and allergy doctors and cancer doctors. We met Dr. D and her assistant, Miss Melissa. They were both super nice. And they had pockets full of treats! And giant jars of catnip! And a huge tank of delicious fishies! And a box of toys! Dad and The Mom and Dr. D talked and talked about what has been going on: with the roaming cats, with me and Titus, Titus and Tazo, me and Tazo, and pretty much every combination of Furry Kids and ‘rents that you can think of. Dr D and Miss Melissa watched me and Titus interacting. Apparently, I am very confident and Titus would very much like to avoid me. They even took video of how we all act together. It was pretty cool. And they said I was handsome. Heh heh

So Dr. D said that our regular v-e-t, Dr. P was right when she said that I had a redirected aggression problem most likely caused by those roaming cats. So she gave Dad and The Mom lots of tips and suggestions for how to help me feel better. First, Dad and The Mom are supposed to make our yard super askeery to roaming cats. The Mom says she’s going for seventh level of H-E-Double Hockey Sticks askeery. Her and Dad and Dr D are working on getting some booby traps ordered and set up around our yard.

We’re also getting our window privileges revoked. The Mom was a little sad because she was sure that we loved looking out the window. Dr. D said she wasn’t sure that we were enjoying it – it might be that we feel like we have to be on guard and defend our territory and it’s upsetting me. So Dad and The Mom are going to put some film over some of our windows so that what we see will be way more limited.

As for inside the house, we're still going to rocking the kitteh Kryptonite Feliway diffusers and the spray.  Dr D said that that stuff is pretty effective, but it needs to be going all the time.  I’m going to have to wear a collar with a bell. Just like Tripper. Except instead of warning the delicious treats in Tripper’s yard, my bell is supposed to warn some delicious pink ears of where I am in the house so that Titus can avoid me if he feels like he has to. As if! This made me think that Dr. D was not as cool as I had thought. Dr. D also said that kittehs can learn to walk in a way that their bells don’t make a noise, so Dad and The Mom are going to have to watch and switch out the bells or add more if they see it happening.

But one good thing is that it sounds like it’s going to get to be Treat-a-Rama around our house from now on. Dr D talked to Dad and The Mom about making me do stuff for treats, like coming when they call me. I sense lots of treats in my future. It sounds like Titus is going to be getting more treats, too. He and Dad and The Mom are supposed to play hide and seek a few times a week so that he will reliably come to one of them when they call. So if things get upsetted at home and I get agitated, then my treat training will help focus my attention on something else and Titus’ hide and seek will help him get somewhere safe and away from me. Tazo’s pretty lucky because me and Titus think she’s just going to get treats for being cute – not because she has to do anything. The Mom seems to think that we’re thinking wrong for some reason, so I guess we’ll see about Tazo.

I also have to take some medications for a while. Dr. D and Dad and The Mom talked and talked about it. Dr. D thinks it will help me feel better. The Mom was super worried about it changing my personality or turning me into a sleepy lump. Dr. D said that that is not at all what she wants to do and if that happens, then she and Dad and The Mom will talk about it and change the dose or change the medicines. So then the appointment was getting close to being over and I was thinking that it was probably the best v-e-t visit EVER. No one poked at me or stuck anything up my booty. I got catnip and treats - the whole Royal treatment. Until Miss Melissa took me in the back and STOLED MY BLOODS. OUT OF MY NECK. LIKE A VAMPIRE. That did not make me happy and I could not get my neck furs back to they way I like them. It took forever. Supposedly, she wanted to make sure everything was normal with my bloods before I started the medicine.I think maybe she could have done it without messing up my furs.

All in all, Dad and The Mom are feeling lots better about things. They just really want their happy Furry Kids back, so we’re all doing our homework. And eating nommy treats. We’re definitely going to keep you guys posted about the stuff that’s going to be happening at our house.

I think this goes without saying, but please don't try this at home. Our plan is specially tailored to what's going on in our house.  If anybuddy is having problems, please please please talk to your v-e-t about it.  Make sure everybuddy gets all checked out and work out a plan with your v-e-t that works at your house.

Thanks to everyone who managed to read this whole thing. The Mom was going to split it into two parts, but tomorrow’s Froot Bat Friday and she didn’t want to leave it hanging over the weekend. Don’t forget to stop by tomorrow. The Mom says she’s got a good picture of those froot bats for you.