Titus on Tuesday: A Defense (and a Tattle)

Let me ask you - is this the face of a criminal???

As you may or may not have heard (if your parents are on that awful Facebook), I was accused of bunn-icide on Sunday (a charge which was later changed to bun-napping after the victim bunny hopped away). But it's soooo not as bad as Mom made it out to be.

See, Mom let me in from outside and didn't notice that there was something in my mouth. Dad pointed out that there were legs hanging from my mouth and Mom tried to get me to go back outside. When I wouldn't go, *she* ran outside, screaming like a little girl. Dad finally got me outside and Mom saw the legs and started running around and screaming. Since it looked like she was playing a super fun game of RAWR, I started chasing her. It was so much fun, but apparently she didn't think it was nearly as fun as I did. She wouldn't stop screaming so Dad told her to go back in the house.

A few minutes later, she came back out with a tasty treat, but I wouldn't drop the legs even for that. In fact, as soon as I saw her, I ran over to show her what I had. Which started the whole running around screaming thing again. Which got me all excited and I started chasing her. hehe Dad sent her back in the house and told her not to come back out. hehe

I finally dropped the legs and Dad noticed that it was a little bunny. He took me in the house and gave me a piece of delicious jerky to distract me and went back outside to see about the bunny. He came back in and told Mom that it was just sitting on the patio, covered in dawg spit. He went to the garage to get something to move it with (or for something way more sad that Mom doesn't even want to think about). By the time he got back, it was hopping away. It hopped under the fence into the neighbor's yard. He said it seemed fine - no limping, no nothing else gross or sad that Mom doesn't want to think about.

Needless to say, Mom was not that thrilled with me. I got a lecture about bunnies and the whole we-do-not-eat-bunnies-they-are-our-friends and we had to go over the whole Feet and Tails Rule. AGAIN. Sheesh. I got checked for fleas (sheesh, eat one bunny a long time ago and bring in a ton of fleas and they never forget it). Any time I go outside now, there's someone standing there - watching me do my stuff and making sure that I don't eat anything. I have not had a good smooch from Mom since early Sunday afternoon. I think I've been punished enough - especially when I didn't do anything wrong.

See, I didn't kill the bunny. He wasn't even harmed. I didn't even bun-nap him. I was just bringing him inside so that we could be friends. Yep, that's it.

Mom did say she was grateful that I didn't drop the bunny in the house - she thinks it would have been mayhem. hehe

Anyway, I DID NOT kill or bun-nap anyone. Mr Bun was my new friend and he wanted to live with us. That is my story and I'm sticking to it.

As for the tattling part - After the whole bunny incident, Mom made Dad take her to the b-a-r and she drank lots of adult beverages to "steady her nerves". And she's taking to calling me "Bitus" - like *I* have an evil twin now.